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 Post subject: Re: Chuck Norris isms
PostPosted: Mon Feb 03, 2014 2:51 pm 
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Good February to everyone.

- Chuck Norris designed the first Ed Hardy T-shirt when he ran out of D-Bags to kill.

- Chuck Norris has a birthmark in the shape of Chuck Norris kicking a ninja.

-" B.C. " actually stands for " Before Chuck."


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 Post subject: Re: Chuck Norris isms
PostPosted: Sat Mar 29, 2014 7:12 pm 
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Happy Saturday people

- Chuck Norris turned down the chance to play James Bond because the weapons took all the fun out of the killing.

- Chuck Norris's friends with benefits have the benefit of not being his enemies.

-Chuck Norris plays ping-pong with a ironing board and a watermelon.


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 Post subject: Re: Chuck Norris isms
PostPosted: Tue Apr 01, 2014 1:32 am 
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 Post subject: Re: Chuck Norris isms
PostPosted: Sun Jul 20, 2014 3:58 pm 
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Welll here is your Summer Chuck Norrisms

- Michael Jackson was taking all of those antianxiety medications because he borrowed a pair of boots from Chuck Norris and never returned them.

-When Chuck Norris has a crush on a girl, it usually ends with a few broken bones.

-Crop circles are Chuck's way of telling the world that sometimes corn need to lie the #$@% down.


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 Post subject: Re: Chuck Norris isms
PostPosted: Mon Jul 21, 2014 11:13 am 
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Capt. Kaiser wrote:
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Amen, man!

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"For a brick, he flew pretty good." - Sgt. Maj. Avery J. Johnson

RIP, CanisD.


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 Post subject: Re: Chuck Norris isms
PostPosted: Mon Jul 21, 2014 6:54 pm 
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Location: Missouri. Where I can freely own firearms
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 Post subject: Re: Chuck Norris isms
PostPosted: Tue Jul 22, 2014 10:12 am 
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Then the mighty Chuck Norris will deal quite harshly with this interloper, Putin.

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"For a brick, he flew pretty good." - Sgt. Maj. Avery J. Johnson

RIP, CanisD.


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 Post subject: Re: Chuck Norris isms
PostPosted: Sun Oct 26, 2014 5:35 pm 
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When Chuck Norris threw a frat party in college, it was out of a third-floor plater-glass window.

The book ' The Worst-case Scenario Survival Handbook' discusses ways to run from many deadly animals. The page entitled " Running from Chuck Norris" simply says, "Good luck."


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 Post subject: Re: Chuck Norris isms
PostPosted: Fri Feb 13, 2015 12:04 pm 
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Give the man credit, Chuck Norris actually served in the United States Air Force in Korea as a member of the Air Force's Security Police. That's what drove him to begin studying the martial arts in the first place.

This not merely a Chuck Norris ism, this is cold, hard fact.

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"For a brick, he flew pretty good." - Sgt. Maj. Avery J. Johnson

RIP, CanisD.


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 Post subject: Re: Chuck Norris isms
PostPosted: Fri Feb 13, 2015 1:54 pm 
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If you are offended by Chuck Norrisisms please seek immediate medical attention, and read the disclaimer before reading anymore.
This is a pure satire thread and by no means are any of the persons posting anything on here have any intention of discrediting anything Chuck Norris has done. Well maybe his acting, but thats just normal for anyone to do.


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 Post subject: Re: Chuck Norris isms
PostPosted: Tue Feb 17, 2015 1:04 pm 
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When I first discovered that the great Chuck Norris had, indeed, started his path to penultimate mortal glory in the United States Air Force, I must confess to being dumbfounded.

(Not really, it's just a very obscure fact.)

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"For a brick, he flew pretty good." - Sgt. Maj. Avery J. Johnson

RIP, CanisD.


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 Post subject: Re: Chuck Norris isms
PostPosted: Sun Apr 26, 2015 5:02 pm 
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- The "Dress" is whatever color Chuck Norris says it is.

- Chuck Norris can make a Happy Meal cry.


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 Post subject: Re: Chuck Norris isms
PostPosted: Mon Jun 08, 2015 6:16 pm 
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Chuck Norris once climbed Mt. Everest in 15 minutes, 14 of which he spent building a snowman at the top.

Chuck Norris once broke a mirror over the head of a black cat while standing under a ladder on Friday the thirteenth. The next day he won the lottery.

Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people, then it exploded.

Depending on the circumstances, Chuck Norris will decide whether or not his farts will stink. If he chooses to have them stink, he will then also determine the appropriate percentage level of rankness delivered based on the demographics of the attending audience.

Chuck Norris once gave a man the Hiemlich Manuever. That man still holds the record for most bones broken. Suck it Evel!

Chuck Norris won the World Horseshoe Pitching Contest while they were still attached to a Clydesdale.

Chuck Norris can make a slinky go upstairs.

Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

On a high school math test, Chuck Norris put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Chuck Norris solves all his problems with Violence.

Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, but Jack still couldn't dodge Chuck Norris' roundhouse kick.

Chuck Norris is the only person on the planet that can kick you in the back of the face.

Chuck Norris can kill your imaginary friends.

The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris. The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction. No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long.

Chuck Norris goes around the world...by standing still.

Chuck Norris's daughter lost her virginity. He got it back.


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 Post subject: Re: Chuck Norris isms
PostPosted: Sat Aug 01, 2020 2:55 pm 
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Darth Vader bends the knee to Chuck Norris.

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"For a brick, he flew pretty good." - Sgt. Maj. Avery J. Johnson

RIP, CanisD.


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