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PostPosted: Tue May 14, 2019 11:31 pm 
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And like that, Chapter 50 is completed. It ran to 84 pages and might gain a page if I decide to tweak the ending, but I think I'll stay with what I have instead of trotting out a trope I've used before.

Here is my plan...

I intend to read the chapter and do a soft edit; that is, as I'm casually reading I will change glaring issues, note things that raised a question or that might not work, and then when that's done, I'll do the hard edit which moves from my iPad and laying in bed reading to sitting at my workstation and going line by line.

The next chapter could be posted by this weekend, but that's really a moving target.

Looking forward...

The next chapter is going to be a mix of things going back to the Earth Union and President Marquette's hole card is revealed, then to the Communion, and finally back to the Colonies. I'm not sure how long that chapter will be or whether I might split it into two, one in the past and one in the present, but that's down the road.

One thing to consider when you read Chapter 50...we're still dealing with the first 24 hours or so after the initial attack. Despite the chaos, there is some organization happening...

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PostPosted: Wed May 15, 2019 11:57 pm 
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The first edit is completed. I have some additional material that needs to be added, but it's minor, and am on track to begin the hard edit on Thursday.

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PostPosted: Fri May 17, 2019 11:56 pm 
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Boldly going forward, cause we can't find reverse!

Can't wait!!

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PostPosted: Sat May 18, 2019 12:17 am 
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I'll have the hard edit completed in about fifteen minutes. Then I'm going to read it again, and if it looks good to go, tomorrow I'll format it and get it posted. It clocks in at 85 pages in Word and just under 41000 words.

I thought that it would require a lot of revising due to it taking so long to write, but things seemed to work and I'm happy with the results.

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PostPosted: Sun May 19, 2019 11:03 pm 
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Final edit has been completed. I'm going to start spacing it and then formatting it for posting, but doing that for 86 pages is going to be a chore...so it may be until Monday that it is posted. But...it is completed and it is a "Golden Master"...

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PostPosted: Mon May 20, 2019 12:34 am 
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Chapter 50 has been posted...

I'm very curious to hear your comments...

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PostPosted: Mon May 20, 2019 9:31 am 
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kfeltenberger wrote:
Commander Koln


Koln, I’m a doctor, not a plumber! Said Doctor McJoy.
Hum, you’d make a better plumber than a doctor! Retorted Colonel Sprok.

These are the voyages of the starship "Entropy's Prise"

--

Over all I liked it, the transition from exploration/combat to rebuilding was always going to be challenging and this was a pretty good way to do it.

Quote:
“It was a misjump, Commander,” Captain Rafaella Contino answered after a brief moment.


That’s new, but an interesting twist!

Cronus seems to be adjusting his allegiances, I wonder where he'll end up when the puppet master comes out of hiding, while Ceska seems to have chosen a side already.

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PostPosted: Mon May 20, 2019 4:03 pm 
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Thanks for the kind words, Electromage! I had to work some sort of Kirk reference into the story, and that just seemed the time when there was a genuinely alien woman (at least visually) in the scene.

The transition was difficult and for most of the characters was one that had to be done on the fly; they're expecting to get home to fanfare and accolades and the reality is a burnt ruin.

Ah...the misjump... :-) That's something that I've been meaning to weave into the mythology almost since the beginning. I won't deny that I draw a lot of influence from Traveller, especially the 3rd Imperium setting, for culture, attitudes, names, etc., and misjumping is one of those things that can happen in that world. I also wanted to incorporate a bit about what was the limiting factor on jump range...

When I wrote the Cronus scene, I had to ask myself about his motivations in the past. Yes, he was a tyrant, a class "A" bastard, but what motivated him? He burned Caria and Othrys at the end, but what made him wait that long? Now we know. Also, I think that in his own way, he's having second thoughts about the things *he's* done; being a self aware algorithm for ten thousand years gives one a lot of quiet time to think about one's life choices. The scene also was a chance to show the differences among his key lieutenants; Pallas and Nautilus. Of the two, I would rather face Pallas in a fight...he'll come straight at you. Nautilus...you'll know you'll never be safe until he's dead, and even then you will never be sure.

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PostPosted: Tue May 21, 2019 7:53 pm 
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The downloadable files have been updated on BSG94.org and are complete with everything to date, including Chapter 50.

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PostPosted: Tue May 21, 2019 11:41 pm 
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First five pages of Chapter 51 have been written...and they are quite different from what has been written before...But I think you'll like it.

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PostPosted: Wed May 22, 2019 5:26 am 
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Hey Kurt, update from the ladies, a lot of "about time" we mentioned, also they had 2 pools, 1st was if lien was going to be mentioned or poly relationships would be mentioned and second was how many times " that boy " or if you would get a " that damn boy " would be mentioned. My daughter won the 1st one because I told her something you told me, Sister Katherine won that one. Now the big thing, you confused them with this chapter, you jumped around a lot, we re-read it 3 times before they let me go home.
I'll tell you the questions and comments they had, also the think they fought a big ooops, I tell you later today.

Good story, but my comment is you have so many characters I'm worried you forgot some, but that's for another post.
You set a record 8 candles my friend.

Rick


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PostPosted: Wed May 22, 2019 8:45 am 
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kfeltenberger wrote:
The downloadable files have been updated on BSG94.org and are complete with everything to date, including Chapter 50.

Just in case anyone's interested :wink:

Lady Hecate PDF Chapters

Chapter 1: Opening Moves - Page 2
Chapter 2: Formations - Page 10
Chapter 3: Plans - Page 18
Chapter 4: Thresholds - Page 31
Chapter 5: Opening Salvos - Page 45
Chapter 6: Ranging Fire - Page 56
Chapter 7: Bracketing Fire - Page 66
Chapter 8: Fire For Effect - Page 76
Chapter 9: Friendly Fire - Page 99
Chapter 10: Shifting Fire - Page 116
Chapter 11: Point Blank - Page 126
Chapter 12: Clean Sweep - Page 137
Chapter 13: Away All Boats! - Page 148
Chapter 14: MOUT - Page 160
Chapter 15: Dustoff Redemption - Page 173
Chapter 16: Standing Down - Page 190
Chapter 17: Ovations - Page 218
> Vignette 1, Part 1: Broken - Page 250
> Vignette 2, Part 1: Cold Fire - Page 254
Chapter 18: First Steps - Page 259
Chapter 19: Throwdown - Page 290
> Vignette 1, Part 2: Metamorphosis - Page 323
> Vignette 2, Part 2: Inferno - Page 328
Chapter 20: Tesseract - Page 334
> Vignette 2, Part 3: Maelstrom - Page 361
> Vignette 2, Part 4: Ghosts From The Past - Page 372
Chapter 21: Deductions and Extrapolations - Page 381
Chapter 22: Investigations and Preparations - Page 413
> Vignette 3, Part 1: Fire From The Sky - Page 446
> Vignette 3, Part 2: Fire From The Sky - Page 462
Chapter 23: Rebuses and Revelations - Page 478
Chapter 24: Accretion Disc - Page 516
Chapter 25: Singularity - Page 539
Chapter 26: Interrogatives - Page 596
> Vignette 4, Part 1: Exorcism - Page 663
Chapter 27: Endings and Beginnings - Page 672
> Vignette 5: Ghost Story - Page 693
Chapter 28: Transformations - Page 700
Chapter 29: Revelations and Mobilizations - Page 761
Chapter 30: Survivors - Page 806
Chapter 31: First Steps - Page 847
Chapter 32: Into The Depths Of Night - Page 903
Chapter 33: A Meeting Of Champions - Page 956
> Vignette 6: Neverwhere Nightmare (Part 1 of 4) - Page 1003
> Vignette 6: Neverwhere Nightmare (Part 2 of 4) - Page 1019
> Vignette 6: Neverwhere Nightmare (Part 3 of 4) - Page 1036
> Vignette 6: Neverwhere Nightmare (Part 4 of 4) - Page 1052
Chapter 34: Threads And Currents - Page 1068
> Vignette 7: Paradise Lost - Page 1122
Chapter 35: Pivot Point - Page 1137
Chapter 36: Awakened Ghosts - Page 1188
Chapter 37: Foreign Relations - Page 1238
Chapter 38: Truth Or Consequences - Page 1290
> Vignette 8: Cum Magna Vindicta - Page 1343
Chapter 39: Storming Heaven - Page 1400
Chapter 40: Venandi Incipit - Page 1452
Chapter 41: Friends And Enemies - Page 1511
Chapter 42: Red Sky At Morn - Page 1570
Chapter 43: Maneuvering For Position - Page 1624
Chapter 44: Final Movements - Page 1692
Chapter 45: Action Stations! - Page 1773
Chapter 46: Revelations - Page 1841
~ Interlude 1: Confessions - Page 1939
Chapter 47: Lamentations - Page 1950
~ Interlude 2: Caro-Kann - Page 2060
Chapter 48: Homecoming - Page 2067
Chapter 49: Returning Home - Page 2183
> Vignette 9: Degrees of Separation - Page 2268
Chapter 50: Holding the Line - Page 2332

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PostPosted: Wed May 22, 2019 8:57 am 
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kfeltenberger wrote:
First five pages of Chapter 51 have been written...and they are quite different from what has been written before...But I think you'll like it.


Looking forward to it! Image

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PostPosted: Wed May 22, 2019 5:03 pm 
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rit57 wrote:
Hey Kurt, update from the ladies, a lot of "about time" we mentioned, also they had 2 pools, 1st was if lien was going to be mentioned or poly relationships would be mentioned and second was how many times " that boy " or if you would get a " that damn boy " would be mentioned. My daughter won the 1st one because I told her something you told me, Sister Katherine won that one. Now the big thing, you confused them with this chapter, you jumped around a lot, we re-read it 3 times before they let me go home.
I'll tell you the questions and comments they had, also the think they fought a big ooops, I tell you later today.

Good story, but my comment is you have so many characters I'm worried you forgot some, but that's for another post.
You set a record 8 candles my friend.

Rick


:-)

What is "lien"? As for the poly relationships, since they played a role in Caprica, I thought that they needed to be included in the story as it appeared to be part of Colonial culture. And the sisters...gambling? I r shocked! ;-)

I thought about going back and putting all the parts consecutively, so that the stuff that happened on Hecate would flow uninterrupted and so on, but that would throw the timing off even more than it already was.

The number of characters is something I track and other than a few exceptions, I have all of them listed in my notes showing who they are and how they are important. Some of them are important for a chapter or three, and then they fade as other elements of the story come to the forefront. I sort of see Lady H as serialized/novelized version of the big ensemble cast movies of the 50s, 60s, and 70s. Lots of characters, most have their moment of glory, and all are needed to move the story forward.

I'm looking forward to your other comments.

Kurt

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PostPosted: Wed May 22, 2019 9:41 pm 
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ooooooooh kay

there's a lot to unpack here.
Alot.

Okay. Finishing up the family meeting;

Ava is the adorable little peace making angel. Yes she is.

Gath yaaaaay family.

The arithmetic of war. Not unwinnable but a bloody war ahead.

Wise Words from Windsor.

The Speech.

--

More civilians!

wait, no retired military. Recalled now.

Reliance or "Ol' Reliable?" heh.

"Mah Boy FIY-DEL! DAMN good to see you, Son. And.... is that who I think it is? MAH BOY!"

McNair... shit if that name doesn't ring a bell, gonna need to do a name search on the PDF later. (THE WEBS YOU WEAVE KURT)

Morgaine.... HMMMMMM orphan... raised well... SECRET OLYMPIAN MAYBE?! or just a good person. she's taking the whole nukes falling around her a little TOO calmly... I think. Or she's not letting it hit her until she's somewhere she can decompress. Smart.

A good man in the right place can make all the difference in the world.

---

The Hunt for Red Kraken-tober.

"Boom"

Shoot first THEN ask for them to surrender... I feel like Kailo was on the other side of this not TOO long ago.... seems like years. Oh WAIT.

Talking is better than dying.

Okay, instead of bullet points here. I want to pause. I was... GENUINELY concerned about Kraken's crew having wetware in them somehow... but they definitely would have triggered it with all their anti-equal actions... so. I gotta wonder if Ceska MIGHT have had a hand in 'unmodding' her crew. WOULD go a long way to earning their trust, also removing the threat of them up and dying on her if they say the wrong thing.

Galactica has a happy Commander. This is good.

Trust requires a leap of faith. (And an Angel on the couch)

Ishmail..... my .... FAVORITE Devil. Let me be clear. I under no circumstances think that ANYTHING he does is based in ANYTHING but his own self preservation. He's a killer. Dyed in the wool killer. He's clean and methodical. No angst attached. This, all of this, is stage play to act like he's penitent, but CASUALLY penitent. He's a wolf putting on the *dog's* clothing. He still has his teeth, but he'll let you lead him around, lead him to food. He knows which pack has a future and which pack doesn't.

He's not remorseful, I don't think. If anything he's eager to earn the trust of the other side. It's a challenge to him. It's a game.

But then, that's my voice always watching for the odd angle.

Sini Lee... I thought the person who Ismail hunted last was a guy? or maybe not. Maybe it was a generic they being used. *shrug* Either or, having the person who killed him last be the person who was at the meeting is FUNNY as hell. He probably is a lot more assured of things if someone more capable is holding their leash, so to speak.

Secreeets. and ships? Have the Colonies been blind jumping ships into this area to try and regain contact? Like remote control jumping? That's sweet.

Illustrious meets the REST of the fleet. Holy shitake.

Vice. Admiral. CHASE. MMMMMMMMMM yes. (In before Tanith is named Grand Admiral of the Devout Cylon Forces)

Introductions. Some easy, some odd.... some not so easily taken. FINALLY SOME YELLING! LOUD VOICES. But.... reasonable, loud voices? Yeah... okay. Verify. You wouldn't have been here a few days ago.... kinda says something about him.

When the Gods are sitting at your table.

Jokes are good, jokes are funny. And Aphrodite is everyone's wingman. (In good taste)

Ice. Broken.

Survivors! Yaaaaay.

----

This time Kailo has the prisoners... and First contact with a Promethean? Outside of... the people who were experimented on during the waaaaaaaaar.

Hatchet. Buried. (And if I had ever been in the Air Force I could make a few more jokes but hey-now)

Lucy stalling on leaving as much as she can, probably a poor act of defiance.

Cronus and Pallas have... different ideas on Genocide. Cronus sees it as an end your reach after other methods have failed, and after the time for deciding sides has come and gone. Pallas just sees it as a way of removing a threat. I think George is also aware that he MAYBE raised Benjamin to be too much of a weapon... because that's what I see in Pallas. Someone raised to destroy on command and do so with PLEASURE.

Cronus points at the paradox of the Equals' 'Plan' there's no follow-through, no end game.

Oh hey the Cymechs have been here this whole time. That isn't creepy.

Nautilus. Our BOY Nautilus. If there's anyone playing the long LONG LONG LONG LONG LONG LONG LONG LONG con deep cover shoot the devil in the back and NOT MISS game. This is HE. AND he's pointing out hey... where the frak did they get this tech?

Pallas realizes he's been dipping his pen in poison ink.

Sleeping Angels.

Careful resettling of the planet. Smart. Very smart.

A doctor for the president, and the dead.... and evils from the past. Maybe Hamish can set him up with a good therapist?

----

New security in place... and Marines. Doing their duty, no exceptions, no short cuts.

SQUIRREL! so adorbs..

Boxcar and Cricket! Also we see that Chase's Way continues even as she's now a VICE ADMIRAL. If you've got a question, ask it. CONSISTENCY!

"Besides, how else do you handle an enemy who has the singular goal of killing all humanity, she thought." If an enemy escalates to where their methods or goals are the extermination of your entire people? There can be no peace, except in that enemy's annihilation.

Ismail is a 'cook'... oh.. oh what were those burgers made of Kurt? Were those people burgers? Is the secret ingredient HUMANITY?! or... I dunno Canceron Cows?

Communion humans? ... Ismail.....

The shortest path to the human spirit is food.... a warm meal warms the heart!

Siren has a scent, she's gonna chase it!

To question is to Rebel? OKAY Prometheus does the thought crime thing. GREAT.

---

So a jump CAN be frakked with... it just takes a NUKE going off at the exact moment to incite it.... well shit....

THEY LANDED AT THE FRAKKING HUB!?

Varinia. I like her, and I think she's going to like things if more... open... rules of intracrew fraternization get adopted like with some Union crews.

Jump in and nuke hard. I REALLY like how this generation of Colonial Commanders and their ships have the means to use FTL tactically. Jump in close hit hard and then jump away. Compared to Galactica who was A) OLD AS SIN and B) Tied to the Rag-Tag Fleet. jumping was usually a means of travel or escape. (usually both)

Suicide shielding. Playing the hand, but needed to protect their literal lifeline.

Meanwhile on the best Damn Cylon ship ever....

God's hand is keenly felt.

Wait... the Raiders are unionized!? What the heck!? Parley with them, between the Unity and Olympus they can set them up with MUCH better offers!

Cylon-diversity. I like it!

Angelos! Rockstar and Savoy!

Learning the truth frakking SUCKS but honestly... it's good they're talking and I hear Beto's new cell comes with a GREAT view of Saga.

Ismail arrives with MONTCALM'S staff members.... oh... DAMN.

Never lost or forgotten, just out of reach.

Not killed by the sigils... but what if they're brain chipped? Hmmmm

Hibachi and Becket sees the trend.

So that begs the question, whose catering at the peace talks between the Titans and The... ah... Alliance?

Jerry's a Major? And already learning what NOT to say, smart man. That's why he's at the helm.

Esposito surprised?! and a LT. COLONEL!? HAHA wait... if DeWinter DOES take leave of absence to start a family could Esposito take over as XO? or is there gonna be a twist that Beckett does? Wait no, he's taking over as CAG right? I think so.

The choice. Either take the fight to the enemy you can see (because I think a lot of people at the top know SOMETHING weird is going on with all this) OR take this chance to fly back and secure the homestead!

Lots of pieces all moving back together.

Broken wrists and tender flesh *clucks tongue* see that's why you should stick to party balloons and goofy fun. Nobody gets hurt that way.

Ismail has his own agenda. I love it. Albany is playing along though, which puts him on the backfoot to Ismail, which is probably how Ismail wants it. Frak he's still a One at his core has to be the center of the play.

Inferno.... apparently it's a regular Cylon Tartarus but I wouldn't be surprised if there's SOME tweaking involved.... I mean if it survived close combat with the Anchorage and was responsible for its destruction...

wow.... Ismail led that assault... he has.... like NO friends in the Communion I bet. Even if those two are 'character witnesses' it's gonna take a LOT to keep him alive. AND I bet he doesn't know he doesn't have a resurrection signal to save his ass. HOO BOY.

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